I wanna know what y’all think about foreplay. Cause here is the hard and semi-sad truth. When most people think of foreplay they think of a little dry humping, fingering, stroking or some oral action right before intercourse. I put out a poll on IG and I asked y’all “what is foreplay to you?” And the answers I got back were confirming that people confine foreplay to the moments right before the full on sex-making session.
Because of that, I really just want to shed some light on how limiting I believe that is for your pleasure. Don’t stop your foreplay, I’m just gonna put on my Pleasure Police uniform real quick and write you a little ticket for MORE pleasure. I don’t want you to remove what you’re doing, if it’s working, I just wanna give you some different ideas or share some of my personal perspective on Foreplay and how you can spice it up and incorporate it into your day and not just those moments right before you make the sex.
I wanna encourage you to play throughout your day, to come up with some titillating activities that will make for an even steamier sex-making session. Because here’s the thing, everyone who wants to have sex wants to have amazing sex and foreplay is such a big part of amazing sex.
Foreplay can be anything at all, that encourages & elicits arousal. It can be sexting, a back rub, making dinner together, sending a little surprise to their office with an encouraging note, sitting next to each other naked in the sauna, brushing their hair after a shower, or a small naughty whisper in the ear before heading out for work. Find ways to incorporate foreplay throughout the day so when you get to playing, you’re really revved up!
Talk with your partner about what y’all find arousing to alleviate some of that pressure and make sure you’re advances are met with the appropriate response, then having dialogue about what type of foreplay you enjoy and how you like that foreplay is really essential to y’alls confidence going into it.
For example telling your partner: “I’m gonna go down on your vulva so good tonight” vs. “I’m gonna lick your pussy so good tonight” elicits two completely different responses.
Now, I’m not saying which one you prefer is right or wrong, it’s just about which YOU prefer. So that you have the desired response or you elicit the desired response.
If one person’s written or auditory form of foreplay prefers to be told in detail how they’re gonna be taken care of vs. fucked so hard — being told the latter is not going to arouse them. It’s not going to be foreplay.
Foreplay by definition is ‘erotic stimulation preceding sexual intercourse.’ And if your partner is not stimulated by your means of eroticism, then it’s not foreplay for THEM.
The goal is always to communicate, honestly. Honest communication can alleviate most uncertainties. We all will have our own personal things we’re dealing with when it comes to sexual exploration and personal pleasure, but I want you to keep in mind, if you are playing with someone, that in THAT moment or those moments, it is not just about you and sharing is caring. So share what you enjoy and then enjoy what you’ve shared so that both partners or all partners feel understood and so that you’re foreplay and sex-making are AMAZING.
Because again, anyone who wants to have sex, wants to have amazing sex.
If you dug this episode or know someone who would dig it, feel free to share so that they can foreplay all day!
As always Stay Sexy, Stay Curious & Talk soon!